Coma please

Things have been insane around this house the past week. And I mean insane. Between doctors visits, dental checkups, house guests, soccer practices, soccer games, church, Mom's group, the gym, kiddo sleepovers and potty training... well, I just want a nap! Maybe even a coma. I know I have some awards to address and I promise that I am uber thankful and will participate as soon as possible! I hope everyone had a wonderful Monday. :)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY LADIES!!!

Happy Mother's day to all you ladies out there with small and large bundles of joy! :) My girls came and woke me up this morning before church to bring me breakfast in bed. It consisted of a granola bar and a glass of orange juice! :) Big Sissy informed me that she wanted to make pancakes but Daddy didn't know how. haha. She also said that she is going to vacuum for me later! What a doll! I hope y'alls day is just as special as mine has been.

oh dear...

Dear LARGE spider,

You are back! Or are you? How can I tell? Is this you, or a friend?!?! My husband laughed at me and walked away when I asked him to "handle" you. Needless to say, I am infuriated! Our bedroom ceiling is vaulted and about 18 feet tall, there isn't a chance in hell I can reach you! To make matters worse you're now in a corner making it impossible to even throw objects at you with any positive results.

What is my next course of action you ask? Well, I'm seriously considering shooting you with a can of wasp spray that promises to reach up to 27 feet. Yes, the can does warn to only use outdoors. And yes, it is probably going to make my room filled with toxic fumes. However, I see no other solution. Did I mention that you are very large?

Sincerely,
Your Nemesis, Jessica

arachnophobia

Dear LARGE spider,
Where have you gone? You were on my bedroom ceiling this morning and now you're gone. I tried throwing objects at you, you evaded me. It's nothing personal. However, you are LARGE and a bit scary. Please leave my home immediately. Thank you.
Sincerely, Jessica
p.s. I'm not going to lie, I'm afraid to go to sleep!

Thankful Thursday

Since Mother's Day is right around the corner I decided to dedicate this Thankful Thursday to my Momma! Today (and always) I am thankful for my Mom! She is an amazing woman who has always been there for me. She is strong, kind, intelligent, loving, brave, compassionate, talented, humble, selfless, giving, hilarious, beautiful, wise, and she is MY MOM! ;) I know that mere words can not do her justice and I'm sure that there are many other words that would help illustrate her awesomeness, but these were on my mind. She truly has shaped me into the woman I am today. So today, I am simply thankful for my Momma!

While at Chick-fil-a today I heard the most hilarious thing... possibly ever. There was a little boy who was being awful. And I mean awful. He was probably about 5 and he was pushing down babies and screaming in other kids faces. It was obnoxious! Well, when his mom noticed what he was doing she JUMPED out of her seat and shouted, "BOY, I will whoop the stew right outta you if you don't turn around and apologize for acting a fool!"
****DISCLAIMER**** I am not okay with "whooping the stew out" of your children!
And quite frankly I don't think this woman was a child abuser (her bark was much worse than her bite). When that little boy heard his momma coming he straightened up real fast! And not another kid was harassed by him the rest of the time we were there.
I honestly can't say that I have ever heard a more colorful warning to a misbehaving child. ...I think I'll go make some stew for dinner. :)

Random Musings

Big Sissy said a few things today that made me laugh. First instance was in the kitchen. I had just explained to her how I cut my finger while washing the knives. Her response was this, "Would you rather have a cut on your finger or a hole in the house?!?!? Because I would rather have the hole in our house! Know what I mean?" Ummm, no, no I don't know what you mean my darling. Then only a few minutes later she comes into the room where my husband is watching Boston / Cleveland semifinals game.
She asked me, "Are they shouting JESUS, JESUS?"
Me, "No baby. They are shouting DEFENSE, DEFENSE."
Her, "Oh, whatever!"
I understand that there is absolutely no point to these two conversations. However, they brought BIG smiles to my face so I thought I would share some of our Monday Randomness with y'all.

Oh and before I forget, on Friday, in the car on the way home from school she informed me that her 5 year old BFF is no longer P's girlfriend. "She is going to marry Justin Beaver. Apparently he sings a song about lonely girls." (yes my daughter says apparently and supposedly on a regular basis.) Oh dear, I now realize that her friend wants to marry pop sensation (I think he is maybe 14!) Justin Bieber. Thank the Lord my little one isn't into boys like that! Even if she was her Daddy and I would squash that real quick like!)